Why is all my work so different? It is my technique of painting God's mistake.
My work expresses the explosion of moral complexities that erupt from our awakening from innocence into the trauma of our mortal existence. From innocence we awaken to the awareness of our mortality where we are raped of value and experience because we have no understanding of what the state of death is actually like. Unintentionally we are cast into an embarrassing understanding of our "useless" innocence and left with a screaming vulnerability and horrifying possibility of having nothing but worthless existence that will only lead to death. Our fear of this destiny haunts our existence with unending questions of value. We are confronted with the relevance of our existence to others, to social justice, to quality of life, to economic and ecological sustainability and to the value of simply being alive. Yet, I paint God's mistake not as a religious belief, nor as a mockery of mortality, nor as a hopeless repetition of our trauma. Elements in my work such as mirrors, skulls, dichotomies, color relationships including the obvious black and white, abstractions with paint-brush strokes, words that ask rhetorical questions, bodily interaction, and even the messy seemingly unrelated "packages-of-style" are all designed to force the viewer to experience a circular limitation that is seen only by its consequences of messy, broken varieties that never quite finish. I focus on this circular limitation to communicate our fundamental divide in sentient consciousness: potential and motion. This division enables us to recognize our connection to eternity and Free Will. As beings created by someone else we are potential, the future that they ask to exist. They are already in motion and ask us to continue their story plus add our own. Yet our potential is a dark wilderness. Because we did not create our personal existence we do not have to agree to keep it; especially since it will be taken from us by mortality anyways. We do not have to appreciate our creator(s). We do not have to like our lifetime. We even have the intellectual and physical capacity to annihilate others or simply refuse to procreate. We have the option to choose loss because we are born from absence to begin with. We have the option of cruelty given to us freely because we are born without our own consent. Indeed, we have the freedom not to care simply because we are mortal and cannot care about everything that life has/will offer. Loss is a natural condition of our mortal existence. Yet, in this error and darkness we discover true power and value because we discover that love is a verb, not an identity associated with right or wrong. We discover our ability to laugh sincerely and not fear loss because it is our starting point. Loss is impossible for us to create because it is our default. Simultaneously, loss is our invincible reference for forgiveness. When we care it is never a loss. Caring is always more than what we start with. Thus we are liberated from our rape and vulnerability. Our relationship with loss is a circular limitation that enables us to resurrect innocence to an identity of harmless potential(s) and empower sentient consciousness with a heart…all while never erasing error….
|a painting is worth a thousand words|
|between the black and white|
|color, geometry, and texture|
|color with realism|
|with broken mirror|
|with broken mirror monochrome|
|works on paper|
|paper on paper|
|my work in music: www.insidethemusic.com|